it’s the family business. no one put me here to judge anyone and you’re not gonna be taken personal if you think you can judge me because you have fuck all about you but it’s not your fault, you don’t know any better
for too long now i let this go on, i needed him but when i tried to go and see him they made me wear this purple and yellow suit because when that general alarm went off they found me in that trolley before i made it into the kitchens
after that happened i sort of run out of ideas so he couldn’t be there when i needed him the most
when they finally stopped being a dick about it and stopped trying to stop me from leaving, i went home but things were different – like when he comes home on that film the clockwork orange – people were different too, i never knew that someone could just have no self respect preying on the completely helpless like that. alright … maybe i could have done with his help at that point, more than when they wouldn’t let me leave that fucking building in preston for ages
people were different in other ways as well, talkin about everything about them proper changed and were a bit fuckin nasty about it – good job i never realised what they were goin on about because i weren’t listening, or it wouldn’t have backfired so tragically in front of everyone else who was there. i learned the hard way with people like that, that with some things you’re just on your fuckin own full stop
i got robbed by some dead eyed throwback who was so shit at lying no one cared because they were overcome with pity. and then just when i was trying to get my things back, those people turned up and took me back to that fucking building in preston again. this nice girl gave me my phone back so i wasn’t mad that she had me taken away again. i will never forget who wouldn’t have stood for that, because i fucking missed him pretty bad by that point
another cheap shot, smashed all my windows and doors in because big man didn’t like it when i wanted my money back so my gaff learned a hard lesson about being left vacant by a prisoner. terrorises my back yard by throwing little pebbles and shit, which would ruin my self esteem if it didn’t remind me that i bother him mentally on a daily basis
they tried to take my home off me because of what he did, but unfortunately didn’t consider that i don’t live by their rules anymore! … so when i returned to my gaff, even though they left it completely boarded up for two years, it was a bit awkward because well i was robbed and because the very conclusive eviction order that was completely inevitable and guaranteed to get rid of all my shit long before i could return, didn’t work. so now i get the pebbles like sour grapes that represent the ruminating episodes of erectile dysfunction he gets when he thinks about me
so when you think about the prick behind the CCTV and intelligent facial recognition system, go and throw a pebble at the cunt because he spoiled it for everyone else
i will probably never understand, much like he never will; but the last thing i could think about doing…. in the world …. would be throwing pebbles at some knobhead’s gaff, especially at four o’clock in the morning. fucking prime time or what? but that’s only because i have my priorities in order. for the rest of that time though, i long for the day it becomes one pebble too many because there’s blood in these veins and no matter what i will stand for, i know a few people who wouldn’t no matter what you’re throwin
anyway after that eviction failed and various other attempts to set me up, that’s when i lost faith in humanity and while all that shit was going on, in the back of my mind and in my heart i could hear how he needed me and was getting fucked about without my help. i couldn’t make a move, preferred no company over shit company, got sick of the fucking graft all the time waiting for the phone to go off and those horrible times when you had money but nobody was on. i never tried to hide it, i said openly that it wasn’t for me and didn’t suit me at all – and somehow it got easier to live, but harder to leave
so now let’s conclude. i don’t deserve the family i’ve got – recently think some of them have even turned on me proper bad … probably because i wasn’t there at some sort of times when i should have been, or they don’t think it matters anymore for some reason. yeah i didn’t say a word about it, and as though some kind of powerful and deep cutting omen …. a war, i once fought a war for my cuz and now he needs all of us, has once again brought me back to the fact that i know i’m needed somewhere and i should get there quick time, but lo … as i united people by being a common enemy for a while …. this war is going to take all of us and i hope it brings us back together. if nothing else, or this war is hopeless, i can see a future where we’re not taken apart forever. and even though he needs our help, i still need him more than ever
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