westid

i was impressed with myself for being grown up enough to forego actually checking to see if hell really had frozen over. there are plenty of other people who i’m sure would fulfil that over-reaction enough for both of us

what impressed me even more though was that she had followed her instincts gracefully and she stood there with confidence. although i didn’t have a clue what she wanted, it was right to expect that she could come here and ask me to help

then i think it impressed both of us; it was so natural the way the folderol of gossiping bottom feeder type people just vanished completely, the moment we made eye contact with one another. i was finding mature things about my attitude with a shock, like even if she could tell that i would take her seriously and make an effort for her …

i was not blind to the very real possibility that it might have been difficult to come here. but she trusted that – and alone as well, charmed – she would make me feel overcome with respect i never thought i’d ever show someone without making a fool of myself … like that moment, when it just happened without thinking. no, i was honoured

there was no need for candour, and so i savoured this little moment where i had just properly felt her presence. the real version. for the first time. in fact, it was so prominent that i actually can’t remember where we were supposed to be going. i got my shit together swift, and then we headed out

going off all the unfortunate examples that i’m sure weren’t fair to to judge her about looking back, everyone experiences disappointment sooner or later… it didn’t feel like i needed to aim very high if i wanted to raise the bar a little, but for the first time it wasn’t so guarded that i couldn’t tell and even now thinking about it; she can’t have had an easy time round here wanting a love life just like any one of us, while at the same time not wanting to compromise on things like having standards and expectations

while i got the vibe that there is a refreshing and intelligent sentience about her, which i couldn’t possibly know about unless she actually did come and ask me for help, i empathise because someone with anything about them which are hard to come by in the first place … i don’t doubt that she will have had to discover this one the hard way on a number of difficult occasions

what was i even thinking that for? maybe i just couldn’t see the person who was with me right now, really finding that next level someone who is intelligent and charming needs to have before anyone starts bringing up topics like love and loyalty…

as i moved slower and more calculated on the road, she started fucking about with the screen / skipping through my tunes. because i was in deep, house / tech music blessed us both with its presence. i can’t remember if she had any kind of similar taste in music to mine, but i will be honest this is something i’ve always wanted to know

what kind of music that someone likes isn’t exactly a deal breaker, but it’s an interesting subject i do like to find out / discover / properly judge enough that i can queue up things that they will like to listen to. i wasn’t too assed that the only tunes coming up were going to be deep, because i like a lot of music… but i didn’t want to cross the line just because it was killing me that i didn’t know, and that is something i would definitely make plenty of time for if she were ever to indulge me. so many things i would love to just … know, so completely unacceptable to ask about any of it

it’s not very common in people who are younger, even if it’s only a little bit younger, but the jackpot is where someone actually introduces me to some new music that wasn’t shit. i will never relinquish control of the bluetooth connection or my device, but it’s heaven when you’re getting to know someone and they come with a soundtrack to go with it. never heard this before, but i am always going to remember how we did this while that song played

i’m a queuer, not a skipper. “hey let me play this one tune” let me tell you why that’s a solid no. the most annoying thing about letting someone play one tune has got to be that yes, they will indeed put this one tune on; not only did they totally clear the beast of a queue i had been building up for the last hour and half, their precious onetune either starts playing the same song over and over continuing from the search results, or it doesn’t play anything at all because the fucking queue has disappeared

when i have a good feeling about someone i’ve only recently had the pleasure of meeting, i will sometimes just try one of my more favourite songs and go in completely blindfolded. have you ever let yourself be blindfolded by someone? well there’s only one way i would want to find out …

obviously i would actually have to be in with someone to know which particular melody i would actually choose, this is just an example … i don’t speak french but i have a sort of attachment to the meaning behind it

incidentally, i happen to currently be in deep, so if there’s an intelligent, charming, curiosity out there who brings out the next level in me because that’s the only thing you really ever need in a man, and because it would be my pleasure indeed, then this one’s for you. turn the volume up, stop for no one, feel my deepest vibe and let it reach you so completely the only thing your heart can tell you for tne next few minutes is this vibe is fucking on

just a little encore in case you were proper getting into it