westid

i’ve been on this journey for what feels like an eternity — my own version of forever. each step forward is a chance seized, never squandered. this time, i can gauge the true impact of my actions, understanding what each moment enhances

madness has become my companion, evolving with me. new developments often veer off course, but i embrace them, owning my path even when forgiveness seems elusive

every year, there’s this reminder of time’s relentless, unforgiving nature. it strips away the luxury of “lead time,” leaving us with these fleeting, untouchable moments. much like the beaudiful people; they always have time on their side

believe it or not, the end of each year hits hard. they warned me it would accelerate, and if they had their way, no scenario would progress beyond a certain point… however, i am the master of my fate. don’t presume to judge or question my resilience, i’ve navigated through the darkest disasters with determination

as i traverse the enigmatic, i encounter fragments of forgotten stories, remnants of dreams, echoes of lives once lived. each discovery is a piece of a larger puzzle / a hint of a greater mystery that beckons me deeper into the abyss. the journey ain’t always easy but it is in the challenges that i find my strength… in the uncertainty that i find my resolve, and whatever that will involve

there’s this un-necessary every year that the whole thing is relentless / inevitable… by it’s very nature unforgiving, uncompromising. much like some of those among you who tune in to my textual intercourse from time to time. unaccountable, untouchable. these moments how they are impossible to reach out and touch – before you have the chance to anything, there they go – elapsed

madness has brought new layers into my existence. it develops adjacent, with the same developments i do. it reminds me that sanity is a fragile thing. or rather, was. i find some kind of comfort in chaos, i always have. as i go through this descent, i uncover truths that are hidden from the light. people, they reveal themselves in ways that only darkness will see what’s happening, undercover shadows

i can do domesticated though, not that anyone would know. they probably wouldn’t want to, but personally i’ve been there and done that. not lately, unless i’m asked to, but it’s nothing new. there’s a hidden strength in maintaining under the stone cold light of day, in presenting something meticulous and controlled outside, then bringing it into the madness, the chaos. it’s a delicate balance, but i know the steps to that dance, alternating extreme between the obvious, obscene, unseen

i look to the future giving that uncertainty an embrace. every move forward is a triumph owing to the way i kept it together when i was going through times. assembled with all the pieces, i don’t need to wonder if i’ve got what it takes because …. well, here i am. never let anything stop me. there’s a lot that i could look back on, this year has been as rich with it as any

i used to think that there was no future. maybe there isn’t, but one day i must have fucked things up for them all, because during some dark night or another when i was in deep i did the unthinkable. i started to believe …

A. D. MMXXIV