westid

i’m in love with an idea. a feeling, maybe. sometimes i think a person who doesn’t really exist. i see you every day, i see what i want to see. i can’t help that, no one can. i took myself out of the picture. it’s what everyone wanted. i wish i could see what was in front of me but i can’t. i mean i can, but i don’t know what you’re trying to show me. it’s weird that i can inspire hatred in people that i don’t even know. i know of their hatred, people are at it all the time “X said you Y,” but not too sure where it came from. maybe that’s all i could see, after things that have already happened

i took myself out of the picture a while ago. after that, a few other people also took me out of the picture. by force. this was just to show me who is in charge, i suppose. in charge of things, though. not in charge of me

if you were to ask me now what it would look like back in the picture, i couldn’t tell you. if you think i wouldn’t notice you, don’t be so quick to write yourself off. maybe you have shown me a few things that i weren’t thinking about. i don’t take it for granted that you want to show me. i don’t take anyone for granted, any more. but i don’t take it for granted that someone is trying to show me anything – because maybe pure and simple, i give you a break, nobody can live their life trying to maintain a certain outward image because that never leaves a moment for who you really are

when i see you in real life, it doesn’t all link together in mind back here. i don’t go past you when you’re pissed off and think that i could help you make it all better, instead of just adding to whatever you have been going through. anything that would be good for a man and his ego, comes double disaster when that bubble bursts. on top of that, sometimes it’s just better to be nothing to do with what is hurting you- at least that’s one way you can know where with someone you stand

how can i put things right and handle whatever it is that i’ve supposed to have done? how can i just come down from up here and be there for you, what god given right do i have to decide that? if i could decide that then i wouldn’t be so blind to your modesty as i am the nasty look you give them when things like hope and the wonderful things about you are all i can see. all i want to see. all i know

you take your pick. i don’t give myself that chance if i don’t mean that i have any right to take it either

i’m in the grip of all advancing knowledge. i’m looking for all the signs of another future, i’ve paid the price it costs to live another life

i daydream that i’m locked into the hope of another wonder. i want to learn all these things i thought i would never get to see