westid

the only thing that’s better than laid back like this is probably being laid back in the water. i remember being on a plane flying over america and every road going by beneath was just solid cul-de-sacs and swimming pools as far as the eye could see. still maddening to think that in other countries having a swimming pool in your back garden is standard let alone commonplace. i have swam in hazzy baths, i have swam in the beautiful clear waters of the gulf of mexico. something about being laid in the water looking straight up at the sky so bright it hurts my eyes even though i’m not looking directly at the sun

it’s mad furthermore to consider that – even if you do look directly at the sun, its powerful rays like the flash of a camera – what you see isn’t the sun as it is now, but the sun as it was ~8 minutes ago. it is a nice reminder that the forces of nature, going all the way down inside the earth to its very core, has its limitations just as we do. we can’t travel at the speed of light but – as frustrating as it is for world leaders – the speed of sound is fair game

how does one track propulsion systems on a radar that are going faster than the speed of sound? not nearly enough would be my answer

what is a good motivator other than ‘faith’ ? you can’t love someone without being vulnerable to them. it’s that vulnerability that makes it so fascinating i think. there is the love of a mentor, and love of a muse. both empowering just as they are a weakness; never anything short of an enigma, you can really hurt yourself even if you know what you’re doing

sometimes especially if you know what you’re doing. there is such a thing as being too clever for your own good. an it cracks like a whip. i know i sometimes reflect on something in much the same way as i’ve done before – and it even causes me to say things i said before – but that’s the price you have to pay for being consistent. that’s my story and i’m stickin to it =]

you can do silly things to yourself and even other people when you are distracted by chasing what was never promised to you, or even lives from day to day in spite of you. like in slow motion, this relentless agent of the moon like the witch — levelling everything around you with their every step. locks spin out of place, deadbolts fly open, all on their own. some sort of paranormal energy around them, the fog of mystery and your perception of time all awry. it doesn’t matter if you can run or hide anywhere because it responds to this feeling from inside of you – even if you somehow had the self discipline to try and get away in the first place. you resist with every part of your being capable of causing even the slightest hint of frost. you’re freezing nothing out of you here, more resistance makes more heat and does the opposite thing to what you’re trying to escape. did you ever feel like you shouldn’t be thinking something, but that’s just what makes it so much irresistible and worse?

as with the sun, the light charges toward you over a vast and vacuous expanse of millions of miles. silently you can feel the infrared touching you, when you pass between being out in the open and retreating into the shade. on a cold day with tall shadows i think you can notice it the most. wind and frost chills to the bone, but it’s better to stand here instead of over there

on one hand you have basic scientific conclusions of a measurable fact of the world [/ universe] around us. even though you know that there is some kind of explanation to all of this, there is something about it that can leave you pretty amazed. on the other there is magic. i’m not talking about the pick-a-card any-card version. the vast majority of our nature, interpersonal relationships, involves power / authority / control. dominant / submissive / recessive / passive. there is some sort of hierarchy and somehow naturally we are quickly reminded where we are within our place, on it

i could be wrong. something about this i find fascinating is perhaps the mind’s own mechanism of risk/reward. it drops you free-falling into the throes of dopamine, a neurostimulus response that is essential to our basic grasp of the “meaning of life” or in the very least your perception of whatever must be the point in continuing to go on, in it

it’s ridiculous. but you probably don’t want to tell anyone about it, on the off-chance that they might catch you daydreaming, even through all of the bravado in your eyes that does the best it can to say something different, at it

well, not so ridiculous if you consider the feeling, the fascination, that reaction to a shock that someone could give you even when you least expect it. not only the light all around us that every day from the sun we take for granted, but moreso the eyes that can shatter your ego and everything they can look at you, about it