Discovery 4: Onboard Computers now have primary control of all the vehicle’s critical functions
This is the first time in recorded history that I’ve got autism…
It’s official, I’ve been diagnosed with autism. At the moment I don’t know what that really means, I don’t think it has really sunk in yet. If you could track all my missions and side-missions with a stowaway gopro or something, you could have made some kind of film or at least a book about it up until now. Now this time has come, it’s a kind of beginning
Now, life has given me permission to consider all the parts of the prosecution’s argument that was conveniently buried, lies told about me were severe. Now you and your judgementalists better jump ship because i AM the titanic
A lot of people were upset about me being autistic and to be fair those are the people who truly lost out in all of this commotion, perhaps maybe even more so than myself. I don’t know where I can guide those people to now, but don’t lose faith because I was holding that torch up in the air for a long time. You don’t always get a quick answer, the process is slow
What this means to me is that I can get help. And all the people who bullied and abused me in these last few years you know who you are- managed to keep up this veneer that they actually gave a fuck what was happening to me; I only hope all the false information plastered up about me on the internet. If you’re new to this rubric, this is me remembering all the people who came through for me on this journey, if that’s what you want to call it. Also this is me remembering who wasn’t there, who didn’t move a muscle when I was going down. Well we’re taking on water and sinking, since we’re both in the same boat
It doesn’t change anything for me. That’s what hits the most … so much trial, tribulation, trouble; and now? Now I can’t even feel it. I’m unsure whether to feel good or bad about it. I blew so much of a gasket getting to the meeting today and it was over in a heartbeat. The 30 minutes meeting time to put down the basics of it were over in a heart beat. Everything [until now] has been dated in my fridge the 9th of January, appointments and meetings 9th January, UK Palace of Westminster returns to the screen of BBC Parliament on the 9th January, [i listen to it when i go to bed because it bores you to sleep and there are no really loud adverts that come on about some memory foam mattress at 4.30 in the morning or something like that
Well, what this means to my neares and dearest are that I can start looking to get help now. There are a few things that I need to get help with, but I’m not sure how to go about asking for the help in the first place. Really, the time I properly needed help was when I was getting indecently assaulted by the police in my own bedroom, i was punched in the face for having a panic attack in the cells at green bank police station, that’s when I really needed help, but that’s it now- I’ve got nothing to lose any more, after everything that was – systematically, since 2019 – taken the fuck away from me !
I think I might document all the process of what happens when an adult is diagnosed with autism, and what that kind of means for my life now going forwards. There was a lot of sour grapes viz. ‘help me’ … a bunch of corrupt liars who did nothing but try and stop me from getting the help I really needed
Yeah, that’s what I’m going to do. I wanted to make my own communications system online for all these years, it would be good if I had a story to tell also. Just an hour or so into having my diagnosis- I honestly don’t have a clue what I would advise someone with regards how to handle the ultimate diagnosis. It’s one thing waiting for it, but I had smarmy wankers smiling in my face saying “no you’re not” … that’s a very frustrating thing for a man to have to go through when he’s trying to keep the peace. I might not be so pathetic next time. No cunt should see your tears especially a cunt like that
I’m just swearing randomly now. I’ll try and have some more information to put down in this diary as the time, a bit more, elapses
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