westid

what do you think that you would do if you could go back in time? where would you go? to what time will you go back? well sometimes, in my wildest dreams, 2015 was a good year. even after inferno and everything, that is one bit of my life i will never forget. we met one another by chance. we were both caught between two worlds. we were fucking beautiful, but neither of us believed it. but we believed it when we said it to one another

she was a black panther in her own right. she cared about every single person around her, and if someone really needed her she was there no matter what. but if you fuck with her … its on. goodnight saigon with all the trimmings. definitely wouldn’t wanna go that way if i were you

i was a fucking idiot [hence the time machine] … trying to do right by people, i didn’t want to upset anybody. i didn’t know how it was coming across back then, either. when i was trying to do right, i actually tried. but if only i knew … i would have laid down and died there and then for her, even if it was only to show her that i would. but i didn’t. we each had another world trying to pull us back into it. but i was naive, probably still am in that respect – fifteen storeys up in the air, i would have cut my own rope if i knew what i was doing to her – but i didn’t

sometimes, just these little things, i remember. and it’s stupid … i went round to my mum’s the other day, and she made me a spam and egg butty. straight away, it was like taking an harpoon right through my heart, at point blank range. it was one of them days where that was it, lamenting the love that i have all day; daydreaming about the one, the one that got away

all that mattered to me then and still does, is that she was happy herself. she had these amazing ideas that she never would have thought worked out, but i made out like i was only bothered with these other people who i knew i never gave a fuck about. but i don’t blame her for that. to see her more confident and successful than ever, no longer working in that supposed to be temporary job forever

ironically, i was doing the best job i’ve ever had. even though i was only fifty miles away, i should have made it easier to reach me. but well within my reach, the point in my life where i stopped giving a fuck about anything else so that i could start to live for today

we have both moved on, and got the things we wanted. she’s killing it now, and it makes me smile – because once upon a time we found one another, and will never forget what we had together for a while

that’s all at this juncture in public i’m willing to say … i don’t hold a torch anymore, but at times i still light a candle …

for the one

that got

away