westid

i never knew what mid day shadows were until that time i dozed off i’m not asleep. the cars and the garbage don’t wash up on the coast in your dreams. not unless it was a really good dream anyway

people don’t have to keep yourself. not for me, not for anyone. people are not hiding from anyone, just for someone. it certainly doesn’t make my life any different. doesn’t interfere with any plans though since – in real life – there were no such plans. none that i had any hand in. maybe someone else’s plans?

such a hero. can you do that for me?? i’ll deal with it – you just keep yourself out of sight, make yourself look pretty and everything’s gonna be alright. you will rue the day we get around to letting you do that for yourself more like

you own yourself. if i were to have some advice for people i would say to them that they can probably do a lot better; and with that see, just as i did – who stands beside you when you’re upset about something – who sits beside you when you, through no error or fault of your own, believe in something out of hope that it’s going to fit together one day even if it doesn’t add up now

a fear of the unknown with a sprinkle of circumstances completely out of our control. [our control is your control]. a token gesture that falls to pieces in your hand wouldn’t be complete if we didn’t just get t his sticky tape made out of the adhesive of jealousy, inadequate need to affirm a sense of self worth, pre-occupied with personal and representational impotency that holds you up sometimes to feel self satisfied. and if you have to watch me lose hunny, teach you a lesson they’re never going to forget! and whatever the human equivalent of spraying you with piss is- like the moss and birdshit stained slabs people don’t wanna watch themselves to crawl through on your hands and knees. grown men smashing up an empty flat. silly behaviour, wrapped around a hollow light weight sarcophagus. no substance, driven by an opportunist / cowardly attempt to ‘look bigger’. even if it is a good laugh, the problem with something hollow is your heart isn’t really in it by design. that’s when everything starts to get bigger and reaches ever more in contrivance to what the reality – in tangent running now – was in the first place [and moved on from you, completely oblivious to the parallels of it, and because of hope still within your belief]

i like watching someone in the quicksand. and balloons [but that’s beside the point] but there’s always that immediate sense of disbelief. nah. couldn’t have. surely ….. ¿?¿?¿? right? i’m just saying to people that – even if someone probably didn’t like me, i don’t go fishing for an i told someone so jackpot. i would probably try and be supportive if someone ever need me [or anybody] to be

it feels like that look someone gives you at a private auction party, in that moment just before they realise that you’ve sold them. the change in their eyes. up for the highest bidder, not privy to things even their own; so confused by drawing focus from the task – however it chooses to evolve – no real role to play in anything

what if there was a nice urban myth shocker … something that made me more immediate a concern such that people drop everything because people need your hands to be taken in for someone’s shit. i had to get cameras after that. never know if someone is going to be stupid enough to make that mistake. none of the other 400 cctv on blackburn road seemed to reach beyond their own concern, but i doubt a maligned presence is behind any of them, just wanted to know if any fools are being foolish because they lie so much by default they convince themselves. but who has time for the motives behind someone pecking people’s head with this nonsense. in essence all i am to you is a frivolous distraction

people look like you’re no fool. not even mr T fool. if people want to know me, i would probably like to meet that person who has no time for fool

don’t make me want to shout baby do as you’re told like we agreed. don’t jinx it! remember what we talked about. do we really have to go through with this right now? i said it’s sorted just don’t do anything or go anywhere. don’t talk to anyone. don’t answer the phone. don’t forget my false arm, it’s tucked under the bed. what are you looking at me like that for? don’t make me have to remind you what i’ve already said! don’t push your luck or i will find something really horrible that i can do all day for you to remember when you think about it next time instead. you’ve got it wrong that never happened – where are you getting all these crazy ideas from? you’re just being paranoid it’s nothing to worry about. nothing … to worry about

where did that come from? whose profile is this? a bit disrespectful don’t you think? come on love stop being such an horrible bitch, i forewarned you that it’s thursday night! it’s tradition, it’s just a laugh, it’s only a couple of lads after we had the early finish who were all going out for a drink. it’s no-one just someone who is doing work experience, i might be back late i’m sat in the hotel room now – don’t get worried or wait up for me you just get your head down love and don’t let anyone sees you. unless you’re wi me so we can look down on everyone and laugh. ha ha ha

because?? who knows what might happen. well you can ask yourself that at least, can’t you? who knows what might happen! that’s a good one. ooooh i feel safer already…

[common enemy]

awh geez we sure showed him. i put him in his place. we might have our disagreements but we will see people like him and now we can be alone together. alone. together.

as long as i am the mutual objective which in some sad, saccharin way pretend people need to overcome … then you will always have sight of where i stand, and you will be pretty again

i wouldn’t watch people go completely under just to give myself a hand shandy.