westid

we have one existential on approach, non responsive. stand by for enablement team 6. continue with the blow by, stack portable chest

i didn’t say anything because there was no need to. they bring me to her and distorting my vision while my face is being pushed into the restraining rack i see her glancing down from above me while i look petrified and hapless … like an animal, frantic expression of fear because the trenches of sentience leave you with no fucking clue what could happen next. this could be the very end. or the vet just needs to make sure you don’t succumb to your very nature while she sticks you with this big fucking needle. no need for the vecuronium bromide … you’re already crippled by such raw fear. fear of the unknown. fear of the out of control

“come into my world,” i thought. break off a piece of your soul and give yourself to the mastodon. red light amplification projects onto ever surface from the other worldly quantum singularity that appears to be the heart beating inside her chest

what would these people be, i suppose? some dark version of the world that you want to see. indifferent to your plight but all the same they come and make their observations – give you the once over. both worlds in an unlikely parallel with one another … had there been nothing to worry about, what would be holding their interest another moment further? rather than disregard what i couldn’t guess is being said right now anyway, their presence meets my dissociative affect and it all starts to coalesce someplace in the middle of them all. had the next level madness of things that went on down here where they weren’t any longer looking really developed so different than it would have done had i included them still even so from such a distance? isn’t everything we judge simply based on observation; no meaningfully discernible substance of perspective however quantifiable i – or rather, they – could have made it?

what could i even say to them? all i can think about since earlier is what she said to me. could those powerful words we had truly believe it will all come to be? it’s not unlikely that most people are just looking at what they want to see. they could come at this woman with everything they’ve got if indeed they knew, too. realised that in all their covenant of silence, someone they didn’t get to yet and they’re going to set me free. divine intervention right here approaching fast, who is this person and how could there be a fucking copy!? we threw away the key

oops. i gave it to her. she is going to ruin everything that was meant to stop me… in this ward of darkness with its macabre mirror of intensive care. care about what? they’re not sure yet but fascinating how it fucks with them. it should do … the wall has been coming down for a while, and i don’t do random. did they just think i was gone forever? things are different now; not down to anything i’ve done.

so what then, therapeutically i’m dark? reduced all your existential predicates to silence and now its presence is lost on me in place of deep sounds – still they play with adept levels of bass long into the night time

if you don’t go in deep sometimes, then what do you need the darkness for? maybe we’re all the same in the dark

one more sound and that’s it i promise