westid

i never needed anyone else’s insight to discover the allure of the beautiful mind. today was different in a number of ways, but it was more an omen than an aberration

looked a bit weird. like all the people who want me to stay where i am forever, have started to get that pissed off look on their faces. they’ve seen me loud and clear, but cling to hope that i’m always gonna be here; so i get the dirty look but it’s not moving in my direction yet while they cope with the fear by expecting me to disappear

yesterday i saw real beauty – someone tried to show me who they really are. well, not in so many words; just decided to bring compassion and honesty. not projecting how they’re supposed to look, professional / formal / rehearsed. instead without desperation or veneer: “i am.” a number of people have suckered me in by coming at me with fake versions of that, but i think for the first time in as far back as i remember … i’m actually starting to believe

here’s something that you can feel free to do without looking like somehow me adapting to your tactics forced you into: you never really gave me a chance. it’s understandable … not all of you knew me from the beginning. in fact, many of these people let’s not pretend we don’t know who we are, didn’t get the opportunity to know me at all. you’re reading my blog all the time, takin the piss out of some unknown element that you haven’t – through no deliberate fault of your own – tried to understand

if my brief presence made you feel a little shock, then i’ve got a cognitive exercise. embrace me… what’s the point in picking sides anyway, your proper friends won’t give a fuck if we get along or not – they won’t forget they are your friend because you crossed over to the dark side and had the hubris to confront this westid person and .. i dunno .. find things out for yourself

your presence could give me a shock, if you don’t wear socks with your really nice sneaks that kind of bring unintended focus on your ankles [adidas], or – perhaps even more unintentionally so – you resemble the absolute one for whom crocs were designed [it’s a tactile thing… i think]

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, and have been giving you straight enough talk. yeah i might have my weaknesses but so does fuckin anyone; not everyone is going to be down for the cause not least because they know that i never spent the first thirty years of my life hurting people … i would rather be trusted than feared. how else would you know how real it actually is?

you don’t have to propagate someone’s problem as if you’re somehow obligated to prove how genuine you are by taking on an opinion that isn’t even yours

i’m going to cast a magic spell… so even if you are still driven by some sort of disdain for the sight of me, you’re not going to be able to rely on everyone’s disinterest in me for much longer. actually it’s gonna be very interesting indeed. not all of you were around to remember back when it didn’t convince anyone in the first place, were you? 🙂

look at it this way … there’s obviously a good person about you, you’ve got loads of mates who give you their highly respect. am i so wrong for wanting that? even if you might scoff at peace and look down on it as foolish surrender – yet aagain we are reminded of the final score that comes of every zero sum game