westid

there is a sticky side to having this place, even though i know who i could just say anything and it was pretty obvious who / how / when it was going to reach, sometimes it’s a bit too personal and obvious who i really mean what i’m saying but i’m not saying that

earlier on when i decided i’ve done enough today, i can give someone the satisfaction and that sometimes even i will laugh away … but i can’t just single someone out because i can only tell them by doing this, and i have tried three times now it’s very long, detailed, personal and not right for what i want to say

i’m going to think about that but that’s all i can do. i don’t go after people no matter how much i want to reach out and change things and be close up enough someone has to get to make anything impossible to fake without being able to see straight through

there’s nothing for me to prove, it’s happening every day. but i’m drawing a line for myself tonight. i’m in deep at the moment and my obnoxious sounding board that i decompartmentalised 3 years ago and rolled out to everyone, is not the right way to properly give what i mean when i say to anyone

some people pay because they want to know what the fuck was behind what they simply know me well enough to anticipate what just sounds boring when you hear it off yourself but when it comes up interrupts what you were previously thinking so hard you can never quite stop it from feeling there again, and again and again and again