westid

here i am, there you are. this is the perfect opportunity i should be grasping with both hands and taking head on – to try and appeal to you with all my heart that my version has more credibility than whatever version of it you’re getting this week … or has recently stopped talking over the top of me because there goes your cash again for a couple weeks

i’m sorry i don’t have a version. nothing is different for me, better or worse, depending on what you think / who you believe. it doesn’t make me any richer or poorer. i’m doing alright for myself, and nothing else matters. regrets? fuck yeah, plenty. anything missing from my life? nothing any amount of money i can emotionally blackmail you into drawing out the cash machine will give me. even if there was, i would probably think you deserve a break for once and just leave it

that’s the only thing that breaks their little system. they don’t understand kindness, it’s just confusing as fuck when someone helps them and wants nothing back. my enabling generosity was a game changer but my head isn’t in the game anymore. not a lot of people intelligent enough to turn this into a past / get busy working on a future

so here’s another chance i could have managed to make something that really reaches you, convinced you of any old shit, but i’ve wasted it once again – it might mean you carry on believing some bollocks that weaponises you against me for someone – but when it comes to telling you a version of something or just sounding off a couple of thoughts, leaving a war of the words to chance, i think i’ll roll the dice again and risk it