westid

listen & read:
https://youtu.be/svwJTnZOaco
https://open.spotify.com/track/0XFZeItaZHlOOYgWSdh8O7

fundamentally, you’ve got to stop and say to yourself why? why am i the way i am? don’t know. reason it’s getting livestreamed everywhere and anything … i’m just trying to do some videography. some of it’s public, anything else discretely remains unlisted. i don’t know enough people on an account-by-account basis to go through the rigamarole of private but nothing i do can’t show you much more than what you would expect to find going about yourself in public

you’re goin out there in the wild, supermarket safari, even the staff at these places are under 24h scrutiny. but i’ve got one project at the moment that you basically can’t do without subjecting yourself to the bit quiet back lash

you’re not fucking stupid why would i? i’m not stupid i’ve done it myself. a victimless crime, if you weren’t there then they would go to someone else. but that’s not the reason why i’m live streaming all the time. the reason why it’s getting on top is because you’re thinking through what happened, and what kinds of things you would probably do. well try thinking about what it was like for me when i wake up and there’s another piece of un-necessary shit, because you were in a vulnerable state and someone wanted a laugh – and that’s what they got when they come to surround you

i’m not a junkie, i don’t blame anyone who plays the game, nor the people who run it 24h. there are endless opportunites for a man has something about himself, in whatever dark economy amounting to whatever will create wealth and the chance to retire at 25 and spend the rest of your life feeling alive. do you think that i never noticed, had those dreams, such lucrative gains however ill-gotten

just as it’s a cunt’s trick to abuse someone who doesn’t have control of his own faculties, it’d be a cunt’s trick to go around spreading shit and telling people shit that they don’t need to know. anyone who thinks this is something i’ve done or i’m doing – just how much of a difference would it have made? and isn’t all this just a pointless animosity, making something shit when it was working just fine and that’s how it all would have stayed

i wasn’t out for revenge or making some sort of plan to bring anyone down. but what i did do was look out for people. it weren’t much but i’d rather have someone’s back instead of stabbing them in the back. i don’t command a right lot of respect from people; that way any respect that goes down is genuine because it comes by choice not fear, motivates you to maybe let one of your mates that they matter to you or that you hold them most dear

there’s a lot of pressure weighing down when i think about going out there today. no, why should i? how much am i going to get it, in what way? is that sneering face you make at one another when i’m not looking just a crack at something crazy i’ve just said, shallow lols mode; or is it some sarcastic belittlement that stems from a place of cuntiness that is only a matter of time you’re going to reveal what you now portray

when it’s personal, doing shit to me – i have to protect myself. i don’t have a 7-car convoy ready to fly down here from bradford, and the insurance need a log number. i didn’t phone the police, i didn’t make a statement, i didn’t do anything. it’s interesting watching people, with whom i never had a quarrel, and their responses, had no choice who were stood filming and snapping me whatever, i didn’t even have my phone on me in the first place, there’s no one come to my place looking for a sob story; but last time i had to be armed, had to be intoxicated. that would have justified all the shit that was done to me, but i weren’t. who am i supposed to be out there going after? i’m not after anyone

i miss looking out for people. because i don’t like watching them. seriously sick of all the lies. what the fuck would i want to watch people for? no one’s hurting me, driving a wedge between anyone i chill with. i don’t chill with thieves and liars. i love my family, even though it hurts me even to say when i’m thinking it; i still love the people who i can’t talk to anymore, it would take a miracle – apparently – for things that are happening now to stop, so we can all go back to how we were before

$$$ there’s more to life, but if you’re making money and breaking bread with your nearest and dearest, the only people around you who are hurting not worried about you / only hurting themselves, when have i ever been against that? there are people far higher up than you, who know without a doubt that sort of shit will never be something i put you through

take a step back and think about it logically for a moment. what the fuck would i gain? how will doing something like that make me feel any less miserable than it already does? i’m not hurting anyone either. there’s not a queue of people lining up wondering what my side of things is so just take a breather. no one at all is out of pocket; i’ve been in the paper too, learned things that are written about you that was something in the past i would take on face value. they’re not your mates, they’re just out to get a jar lid to fucking unscrew. i’m not exactly their pal either, but in case you never heard things were written about me none of it fucking true. opportunistic. sensationalist. unfortunate thing that worst people it should have happened to

if you want the bottom line, i think what happened to me was something un-necessary, a liability some unreliable, point-to-prove playah boasting how they’re doin bits and makin it with you. i might not be street wise but the street has taught me a lot. most importantly, that there are worse places that you can’t choose, that people send you. i’ve been there, thrown away and forgotten about; when i come out once they lose the image my old pictures had, drops me more than any spiteful bull shit i would ever – knowing the path – drop on a lad