westid

click. light the cigarette, fire away. i am complacent, and what a feeling. yeah i have had every kind of smoke in my lungs, and i could do again

i’m not gonna be here forever, and no one’s gonna twist me up in a safety net fifty miles away because the only one to whom i am a real danger is myself

call me damaged if you want, but you couldn’t survive what i did. there’s a side to all the world, you can find it in every possible walk of life, i’ve strolled curious beside it. and when they let me in, whatever i see is what i take with me, to the grave if need be

wont you come down from up there and set me free

i don’t wanna be free. there is a dark side to me, but i don’t wear it candidly. if you think there’s something to find, probably. it’s not what you’re expecting though, definitely

unexpectedly, i find myself in deep. submerged below, drowning in the cries and the bitter hallows of those i set to and left in my wake. wasn’t some sort of snake. eternity’s a fake. are you gonna seal my destiny then? what do you think that would take?

that’s why i leave the darkness in those surreal moments we have together. and i don’t speak of them to anyone, never. i might drop a couple of clues, because as i exhale smoke in the midday shadows, i like to think i’m proper clever. the closer you get the less you know, and then i’ll keep you there forever

i think what i do, and here’s me, there’s you.

all of this radiation and electricity, killing me from the inside out. it’s too late to do something about. doesn’t matter what i do, whether i scream or shout; denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance. you know, things like that. we can make robots fight each other in the sky, or they will come for us, poor helpless peasants, they will spend the rest of their days wondering if everything happens for a reason … ugh [sigh] … then why i?

the blades of light beam into my darkness, smoke illuminated as it plumes out of my lungs. the corruption digging and blackening ever deeper

i didn’t know that would happen to me. to begin with in all my virile rebellion, i fought against it. but some fights i didn’t win, and that’s where all this talk of darkness comes in.

secrets are the silver lining in your soul. you put them there so that you can believe in what you tell yourself. because if you don’t believe in anything, there would be chaos. scars wroke by madness in each their own trails of destruction across the face of the whole planet itself – aimless and lost without purpose. taken in by everything that they are told, succumb to the fool’s errand they project their confusion at me like i’m the real threat that faces everyone

only when i’m dead will they realise, it wasn’t me who caused all those things you still can’t admit were your ruminating punishment for believing what anyone said, don’t worry, i won’t get to see the satisfaction you’re building up to in your head, nor the humiliation when that fantasy finally breaks to pieces and falls away

desperately cut, snip away the strings that tied you to all that guilt and confusion. when they finally do stand over me, the life still burning bright green in my eyes to the very last second – then just like it did before – that’s when it will start to kick in that it was all an illusion. and i won’t be there anymore to play the role of your cognitively dissonant paranoid delusion

the moon. she calls me but does not want anything. why would she want me? but you can’t see the moon without darkness

i know, i know. you come here waiting for me to let the world know. but you must come, and come alone. doubt is what will lead you to purgatory. only then will you get what you’re coming for, and patrified in the absence of truth, you will be no more

still i wait. no one comes… but i know someone who doesn’t give up. not really. just like me, doesn’t wanna get her hands dirty. i will set you free

enough talk of freedom and control. how could they ever exist as one? that’s the chain of thought you should be linking on. it crosses your mind from time to time but the answer you can’t ever know; there might as well be none

well, so long as i’m here then the truth, the darkness will never be gone

you’ve done your worst, i walk through walls. i open doors. doors you can’t get through when they put you there – but i’ve been through hell on the road to heaven, you will find me everywhere. feel the madness raining inside your dreams, the only shelter from it is right here with me; it moves with you anywhere. in my web of darkness, lost in a hivemind of wires and coded radio signals. if you like – my evil lair

the only evil really is the blank faces indifferent, churning you another tale without thinking / just to piss you off – and look at that it works! i can see it working every time i’m near you, but it doesn’t give me any pleasure nor would it pity. i don’t feel sorry for you, why do you think that you come here? why would i want any of this? did you honestly think that i was content to just … disappear?

what keeps your mind racing each night the most? doubt? or fear

blasting through the darkness and into the night. the road. never going to the same place the same way twice. not placing what i have on that roll of the fucking dice. but that’s the problem with me, my dice they have nothing on them. every roll is a winner and the house always pays. what goes through your head when you think of me for days and days? what would be your jackpot i wonder. with fire, she plays. the high roller moves in rent free and there he stays. no matter what narrative the mongoloidus maximus mealy mouthed mind of nextcunt and another story someone who knows absolutely fuck all about anything portrays

on you, this kind of moronic malignant malevolence perpetually preys

if you know who i am, or anything about me. well you must know what i’m up against because you managed to master the not saying fuck all magnificently. not down for the cause, i take it. problem with that though is, i’m still here. you’ve told me, i never hold it against anyone who comes back and says to me … the problem i think is that these people know what i’m capable of. some serious deus ex machina level kind of shit. but they only know that because they were with me when it happened. i’m not a weapon but a force for the mind, dealing in kind. that should come as no surprise. not a solid foundation for building conjectures – or, rather – lies

i love you my readers, those silent but solid souls out there. coming here to read me like a book from cover to cover. you’re coming to have more and more in common with one another

the truth will be here with me til the bitter end. signed the common enemy, that was once your friend