westid

even the way good things have been going lately doesn’t take me through the worst part of this coming sunrise. things are getting darker now, for longer. not even changing what time it is by an hour in the opposite direction can keep you away from the darkness

even in the cold turbulent and wet, there’s still a sunrise. and here i am, rising again with the dawn break of the sun

i’ve been on a roll lately, but i don’t take that for granted and i know – as long as i don’t try and tighten my grip, letting the natural outcome of my fortune slip – that as long as i keep rolling i’ll keep winning

there’s one little victory holding me back, and i don’t know if i will ever get to have the fair chance at life the rest of you carried on having … so all the other shit can go as right for me as it wants, how can i enjoy it if i’m still not myself for the remainder of my time here?

someone has been there, told me that they care. could make a difference everywhere. giving back something that i lost, that no one ever comes back from. well, sometimes they do but it’s an outcome that’s quite rare

something has transitioned recently … it’s like what happens might start to matter again. because of the extra ordinary super nature of this instinct, i couldn’t tell you how or when

so given a sinking feeling that the hopelessness connotation of this choice that is happening to me, i think i’m going to wait until i see, have a real look into the abyss and see what future will come to be

i’m not keeping track of all the rules anymore. mainly because there are no rules. just an idiot proof enforcement for the naturally unselected fools. an idiot man who has lost his very identity blames these tools.