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i’ve wandered hypnotised, listless. into one or two boundaries. still got it in me to climb over the barriers, but why even try cos now i can fly. i was never one of the beaudiful people, but we used to be closer to one another than this. until i flew too close, that is
had me a whole bunch of love that i swore with all that i am, couldn’t go for one moment without feeling – i do genuinely think it a shame that i could get my head down at the end of the day and it wouldn’t be on the agenda any more
i don’t see anyone i used to, but i know why and that makes me feel like proper shit because so many times i thought it was more than that – until i saw someone tell her best mate “he’s all yours” once we saw one another again and now every cunt i bump into it’s the same story – oh ground, swallow me up and spit the fucking bones back out i am done
but even having said all this above … though it lacks direction, it feels so strong; fierce, with absolutely no point being there whatsoever except if i randomly felt like feeling wave after wave of agonising pain … well i’ll be fooked ….. i still have that whole bunch of love
you can ignore me, attack me, take the piss whatever you want – you pays your money, you takes your choice – but i can feel it and it’s too profound on an almost existential plane of being. but there is more love in me than i know what to do with
so here – whatever the fuck you are – i gesture up at the sky, as though an omnipotent deity is gazing down on my tiny little sentient speck of a sitting duck … its eyes somehow every visible star in the galaxy, spiritually coming into contact through some mind-link controlled from sirius …… come and get me, any time you want. either show me the way and give me a fighting chance, and i’ll do what needs to be done. or come down on me like an entire constellation of accrington housebricks just spawned in the atmosphere and somehow all perfectly placed to leave me but a big crater in the ground, but if you would please do me the common courtesy and make sure i’ll never be found
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