westid

i’m not very outgoing politically, because i have political opinions; most people will not like them. but here’s one political stand back and regroup … julian assange is a free man

being the self-absorption that i am as a man, this caused me to remember when this journey started. the whole wikileaks thing, was a very long time ago. i was right when i predicted that he would be forced out of the equadorian embassy, but could never have predicted how long they would let him stay there. just thinking that all this time he was either in there or, after he was literally gaffled and carried outside onto UK territory like a suitcase of luggage, in belmarsh prison – a category A bird where the segregation unit is a separate prison on its own, within the grounds of the prison. a prison within a prison. a place shared by the likes of ian huntley and other examples of the most high-profile cruel and dangerous people that the UK has ever known. the mere fact that julian assange was being held there, is an insult to british justice in itself that stands on its own – what a complete pisstake that makes a caricature of what’s supposed to be the absolute maximum of offender management security

anyway, that’s not what evokes in me an emotional response. what does though is what’s ahead of me. i’ve not the stamina to re-live everything [i don’t think in a language, and sometimes thinking back on something that happened is exactly the same as re-living it] that i’ve been through, but side-by-side it does show on the basis of what this exceptional kind of story is like – being in an exceptional situation myself. i was brought up by good people but in a world that is down to its core essence corrupt. not institutionally corrupt, just the opportunism that people who have had various roles of influence, positions of power over me. i see how it’s treated and thus made me throughout my life, i see it coming round corners, i see it glow in what would to so many others be another uneventful expanse of darkness between the planets

love. love is what it’s all meant to be about but it isn’t. what then? i don’t know, but i’ve got a handle on it. i can handle. but can you handle me, that’s the big question this minute. and if you were anything like i think you are, you would show yourself because – and i don’t know why – i completely trust you, when the incentive to do so just isn’t there. so why do i then?

and other questions, that will never be answered. what would i know? i don’t know. i’m calling out for you in the only way that i can. here. of all places. why do you think i keep asking for you? i’m not stupid i know whatever i say makes its way back. it makes me wonder what the point in doing all this serves, but how can you let down your fans? as numerous as they are… i thought that i was giving you what you wanted. maybe i did, but you don’t have to worry about me. just stop the boringness please, however way you possibly can, and i’ll give it all to you in abundance. you don’t have to put your neck on the line for me. i just want something to be different

i don’t think that’s too much to ask. come back / don’t come back? yeah i get it, confusion / loneliness. whatever. if i had to choose between the two, confusion wins hands-down every time

fuckin wish i could get through but i can’t, can i? not here, not now, not fucking saving grace somehow

i wish i wish i wish. where’s dorothy because kansas is going off!

come on sort it out. pleeeeeeease? come and see me? it’s not like i have anything better to do and neither do you so don’t come it. actually yes, do come it, if that’s what it takes for you to stop this tedium from lasting yet another million years. i’ve learned my lesson now, come round and level up