westid

hello. did you drop something in the wishing well? not that i’m some kind of mercenary of fortune, i just want to know if i’m in your mind. of course you’re in mine that’s why i want you so much. now bring yourself to me and let me see. whatever you’re going to tell me what to do isn’t always what it’s going to be. you don’t fear me, but i feel you raining down inside, it’s alright you can give me these feelings and i won’t betray you for making yourself vulnerable to me

the first thing i did was make myself vulnerable to you, and only you. and even though you don’t want me to, still i did and now i do.

i must be in heaven, because you’re here. the fact that you’re here can only mean that for me. the sad reality that you’re nowhere near me gets to me so often it hurts. you can’t be so horrible that you’re not letting me reach out to you by sheer malice. there must be something i can do, something so i can get closer to you

i want you to have your bragging rites, and not because of me. when i flow free you’re what inspiration it writes, and it does so because you are all that i can see

i’m not going to turn into a monster when you’re in the bag. not so blind, i would never take you for granted. in fact, if you granted me my own right and to be close to you is better than what hell this is – a first class ticket to nirvana but you’re completely out of sight. i pray for you during the night, not to give you things, or to force you to be mine. i wish that i could have said your name when they asked me yesterday, i wish that i could find the stamina within me to say your name. i want to say your name, you see it’s been my favourite name for most of my life i don’t know why. and i don’t get second chances either, do you know why?

you were never fictional. my interest was never a fairytale. but it could be more like a religion – you stick in my thoughts like a beautiful melody you can’t stop thinking about. when i close my eyes sometimes, i see you, before you get away from me i trap you in the quicksand. i watch you struggling for dear life, but it’s too late. then just as you’ve completely abandoned into darkness, i will give you the chink of the light

i remember the last time i rolled over to see you sat beside me. i didn’t look up because you would disappear, so i just let you stay there for a while, even as a nonsentient apparition you are so eloquent. if you let me into your life your beaudiful ensemble, i would be in my element. and i would give. and you would receive, and take, and take, and take

i wish you would take to me. i want to wander into your world and realise when i’ve looked around – as i did before – that i can’t find the exit any more. there’s no way out, and that i’m trapped in your …