westid

i fucking hate central heating. yeah i’m always moaning when they put me in the sweat box and expect me to wear it all summer, and every year i feel the cold more and more. but there is one thing with myself i can both agree on above all else – fuckin horrible shit central heating time

unless you’re like me, you won’t notice it straight away. we’re meant to be a green nation, yet as i sit upon many a chair and settee – the inevitable start of that fucking humming noise. harbinger of the central heating system. the biggest cunt that ever took the united kingdom. i’m not really a tin foil. well, not in a hat kind of sense anyway. the world gets cold as fuck outside after a whole year of being told that the world is burning and it’s all our fault. guess what – it isn’t. frankly, in the grand scheme of things, we’re just not that important

then comes the smell. you can be the cleanest cunt in the coup, it doesn’t matter. all the crap and debris – micro organisms – that have been gathering on the back of your filaments, your radiators all summer when it was officially too hot to live. the temperature gives it all a free ride, when it rises up into the air around you. that itself is its own harbinger, especially since the last couple of years i.e. certain contagions of resperatory disease. even if you rip your boiler out and never use it again, how are you goin to do the washing up? moreover, even if you don’t, every other cunt in the entirety of the british isles will. and they will cram themselves into enclosed spaces and wheeze like an asthmatic sucking on an exhaust pipe. yep, when i confirm the fragrance of the central heater – it reaches me like a message “biohazard. evacuate.” [i don’t think in a language, it’s very rudimentiary in here] because i know everyone’s goin to cram themselves into a confined space, shut all the windows, and those words of doom for us all!!!!!! :- put the fuckin heating on

then they all breathe in the same personal orbit, like 300 people giving each other a big fucking blow back in the hottest of box. then they all go to work, go to school, go to score – and politely impart it onto people. only they don’t get high, they get sick. sick is a good thing nowadays though, right? or was it ill?

i don’t know. all i know is – fuck you and your central heating system

<3 <3 <3