westid

In all of this time, I never noticed how annoying it is by having long hair. Most of my life I’ve had it buzzed off whenever the opportunity presented itself [doesn’t mean I don’t hate getting my hair cut]. Now I’m buzzed off simply by wondering if somehow I can be presented myself. It’s a glimpse into the world of people who have always been able to actually see their hair as they go about their day. Someone once told me that you can gauge the amount of freedom you truly have, with your hair and how long you grow it. And so I’ve found it’s true, in more than one case throughout …

Say you were to join the fire brigade, the army, god help us even the police. No matter how liberal you are, that skull needs to fit comfortably the inside of an helmet. Although I did get arrested once by a twelve year old who had a massive beard, to be fair, but he had an upside-down head. That’s the other end of the same spectrum: people will take the piss and try to discourage you or put you down, sometimes even physically if they need to. What I reckon is that it takes discipline; to not care about what someone is saying, or getting too preoccupied with the motives around the people who are saying these things, while being the person that you know is yourself, not having had to prove that and whatever it’s worth, in any circumstance

It’s not merely a case of you should love yourself, before someone who thinks that they know it all and they have you all figured out so elegantly, will grant that you are capable of loving others. Guess what … even if you get there, becoming the same brand of narcissistic twat who thinks that they have got a handle on what love truly means to you, it still won’t be enough to satisfy their urge to try and shit on you at the first hint that it could facilitate their ability to bond, building bridges over you, with others

Steak
I’m having a nice steak for tea tonight. Around this season / time of year, always brings the food that’s worth having been awaited for all of the rest of the year that life throws at you- and doubly satisfying it is when it finally arrives on your plate. I’m an adult, I know that – if I really wanted to – I could have a nice steak at any time; even every day. Say things were like that anyway, I would have steak so frequently that the arrival of a nice steak would just be another link in the chain. We had that last week. We’re having it this week. We are probably going to have it next week. From experience, I know that the worst thing you can do when you’re supposed to be enjoying something is to make yourself become so preoccupied by how good it will be next time, that you neglect to appreciate any such moment in the present, just this second. Not all things are steak, but this philosophy applies to all things. I could say right! … and that I’m going to deprive myself of steak every chance I get until the special time enables me to do so once again. That’s it !

In theory, when the steak really gets here it will be a real steak. I’m not going to waste a single moment and appreciate it so much that I forget completely the food I’m about to eat, or currently eating, holding each bite. I’ve been depriving myself of it for so long that – unbeknownst to me – I will enjoy anything because it’s been missing from my life for so long I don’t even know the difference. Also, not to mention the fact that my ridiculous self deprivation of steak and anything associated with it has also meant that I’ve missed out on many a steak I would have enjoyed more (or simply in the first place) with my friends when they decide to go dancing after a nice steak from time to time

Crippled with being a social misfit because you can’t control the amount of steaks that you have, looks good on your CV or your medical records. This damaging anaphylaxis, as it destroys your life such that you are compelled to avoid people and places you once sat down with to eat; it might impress other people, like case workers or judges for instance, and get them off your back at long last with their whining and complete lack of understanding as to how having a nice steak does not mean your whole lifestyle could collapse at any moment – oblivious to the fact that it has collapsed already. Confirming others’ suspicion that it only takes one steak and you will completely lose all sense of self respect and hope. Even though you know that this steak doesn’t mean anything, won’t lead to anything, definitely not withstanding whether or not in your heart – as you probably know yourself – there can exist things like dedication and ambition. No. The only ambition you fulfill by making a commitment either way, is to make eating a steak such an overcatasrophised life ruining event which will finish you off once and for all, that the mere concept of it is more damaging in the long run than the vice as you would have it to begin with. Oh no! He’s been on the steak again!

Well me personally I like my steak, so fuck you if it doesn’t conform to your impenetrable standards that you don’t even seek to uphold in yourself, and the projection of the polar opposite of anything that I do as a concept of who or what a better person is all about. The only choice you would have beyond that, is either to drive your steak consumption underground, or just wait and see how one at a time these people will get bored of you and give up. Although, I still get a phone call from time to time off the exact same people, wondering if I might still have anyone’s number who can get hold of a steak. But keep a low profile, yeah? I don’t want any of this turd I’ve been throwing at you to impress a friend or, more commonly, sexual conquest

News flash! Once you stop being such a selfish twat and swear an oath to the almighty whatever, your friends will have nothing else to grumble about so they will leave you to it. Not saying bad things, yet not saying good things either. [Congratulations, you’ve been cancelled!] But leave you to what, you may ask? Approaching every situation as though there is going to be steak this evening? Deciding where to go (or not go), since there is steak pretty much everywhere you look, and of course everyone likes a bit of steak every now and again and it never did them any harm? Has the colour in your face been a bit pallid today? Been on the steak again last night, have we? Even the phrase of being on something is just a cunt’s way of making themselves feel better than who or what you are

What would be the difference between (a) those people, who supposedly care about your wellbeing, having a steak to mark the occasion; and (b) doing the same thing as these critics yourself, for the same reasons everyone else does?

When someone repeats the same dogma often enough, you start to believe it yourself. Their criticism, almost to the point of being cynical – but only when making you their primary example – will bleed through and reinforce the notion that, because you are being put down with this bollocks, the person saying it is somehow superior to you because they’re too much of a gimp to recognise how hypocritical it all is

I’m not saying that people are better or worse than you because of how much you enjoy steak [or whatever you’re thinking about] when you have it. In fact, the point I’m trying to make is that they really aren’t. This arrogant form of gas lighting is the most toxic projection a person can put on another. They will speak of weakness and insert self-centred adjectives here, cowardice, dependence upon the gratification of self. How much of this moral high ground pits you beneath them, &c.

You have to consider the motives behind the people saying this sort of thing, than what some knob head’s summary judgement does about who or what you really are. Only you can decide that. If you know deep down that it’s not the end of the world, then it truly isn’t. Times like these reveal a lot about the cynical projectile shit that gets spewed and shat in your direction. It gives you time to reflect on yourself, so that you don’t spend a moment listening to your own opinion, which I think is the only one that matters

Now Who’s Throwing Stones ?
When the mist clears from the beating up you give yourself, you will emerge precariously from the darkness to find that your antagonist is long gone – and you wonder how much time you spent standing there second guessing and doubting yourself without some pillock bashing you about it to impress others, or take any manner of scrutiny away from themselves or whatever they are coming out with

Here’s an example: “Love yourself” is easily placed on top of “listen to yourself” because if you truly did need someone else, you would only have yourself to listen to and that’s all that matters [to me]

Go online to search for coronavirus, abortion, suicide. Have you ever searched for ways to die by suicide on a search engine? It doesn’t matter what words you put in, what you specifically ask to remove from all of your search results- you get the phone number of someone to talk to. Who the fuck were you talking to before it came to all this, or before you just search for something specifically? It doesn’t matter

Doesn’t matter, because no matter what your opinion is or what you are trying to do [if anything] and it doesn’t abide by some sort of neo-liberal agenda, their side of the argument is forced upon you and thus we have propagated the cancellation onto others. If you really wanted to neck up, I don’t think 6 digits on a telephone keypad are going to change your mind about it- I know that when it comes to that, the talk to someone part of the story had already elapsed long ago

Why stop there? How many lives you can save can’t be measured by the amount of people who didn’t kill themselves. Maybe there’s a politician or a public speaker you support or like to listen to when you want to feel a part of something. There again, your quest for knowledge is forced into a bottleneck that you can’t go around, but must put up with because it’s on a public platform for advertising revenue. This person is linked to [state we are not allowed to show any interest in or like], read our information about [coronavirus basically] before you even cast eyes upon anyone else whether it conforms to our agenda or not

Putting one side of an argument in front of any other whether someone is showing a legitimate interest or not, sounds a bit fascist for my taste. Didn’t Churchill say something about the next time we go to war, and what ideology or doctrine it will then be fought over? Giving people the chance to explore all of the facts is too thin a veneer to cover up give people the chance to explore your own facts. Such that if anyone shows the slightest hint that their philisophy of it all isn’t the same as yours; well we need to make sure people like that don’t have the platform and some politicians and business leaders are even removed completely from the public by a massive multi-billion dollar conglomerate that is currently the front page of the internet, governed by only a few faceless individuals. Elected not by voters, but shareholders- propping up the rubric of the private sector

Alls I’m saying is that these people should be honest about it, because what are you gonna do if you don’t like it? Make a new face book, twit yourself another twat? Try to draw away the billions of users who get all their lifestyle and wisdom comfortably from an influencer‘s perspective as narrated by their story

That last question was a rhetorical one… I hope

Nobody likes the prospect of being on a slow-moving conveyor belt towards an inevitable conclusion ultimately dictated by some billionaire tycoon and their moronic publicity stunts to try and win favour [and more “influence”] of the empowered woman, nor the common man. Even if your educational assertions are well founded, maybe even accurate:- you’re only going to drive the other side of the argument underground, by the act of forcing upon others your own, and cancelling anyone who fails to condemn anything that even suggests that it might conclude something else

The first step to true empowerment (whether you are a woman or not) is by being honest about it. That (I reckon) is the truly enlightening aspect of the way you envision your mind